Did you know that dieting doesn’t work? GASP! It’s okay, you just had a bomb dropped on you; please take a moment to recover. You see, the problem is in the mentality. If your New Year Resolution included anything similar to “lose weight”, “get fit”, or even “slim down enough to fit into that gorgeous old dress from college”, then you need to read this article.
According to several studies, only 8% of people that make New Year Resolutions actually keep them. Did you hear that? Only EIGHT PERCENT! And that isn’t limited solely to fitness-related goals, but includes financial, personal, spiritual (you get the picture). So if the success rate is so low, then why do we all keep doing this to ourselves? Why trap ourselves to be perpetually disgraced and disappointed at the outset of every new year? Well, because that old devil, The Media, tells us to! The fact is though we want to make a change in our lives for the better, so how do we make this permanent? That is the question we asked when seeking advice from experts in their field.
This week, Jess and I had the pleasure of sitting down with the illustrious founder of Nutritious Thoughts, Kendra Gaffney, RD, LDN, CEDRD.
When we stepped into her office we were searching for tips to become part of the successful 8%. However, we were shocked. SHOCKED! She started throwing around phrases like “New Me Resolutions” and “Health at every size.” Even more surprising, the word diet passed her lips as though it were the most reprehensible and revolting notion possible. And this, people, was the day we all fell in love with Kendra Gaffney.
Growing up in a small town in Illinois, her early life certainly helped shape her future. She’s blunt when she says, “My family struggled with Binge-Eating and Bulimia, and I definitely struggled with my relationship with food.” Looking at her, and talking with her now, it’s impossible to believe. How could this be?! But her passionate tale is surprisingly simple. She was a competitive gymnast from an early age, and even went on to become an NCAA Cheerleader (say what you will, but I bet you couldn’t do it). A heavy emphasis was put on her weight by her coaches and our darling, precocious Kendra, rebelled. She resented her coach’s insistence on healthy eating, while watching her brother indulge in a bag of chips. So she did what any hungry, pissed-off adolescent girl would do, and took solace in her schemes to eat the entire bag while no one was looking. These situations created a mental struggle for her growing up that centered on eating.
She shared one story that we found to be particularly distressing. In the fifth grade, she had a trampoline accident and suffered a broken leg. During the healing process, she gained weight and the result was that other kids gave her the nickname “Porky”. Personally, my blood started boiling upon hearing this, and it’s happening again as I write it. The important thing to remember is that moments like this give our future journey direction and purpose.
Now back to our story. Kendra went on to become a cheerleader at Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. There, she and her team members were divided between three categories based on weight. A, B, and C, and those in the C category were given diuretics to become lighter. “It wasn’t just me. I watched the other girls suffer and lose their self-worth based on the number on the scale.” Again, she rebelled. This time, she says it, “changed her life.” She quit the team, but that step was obvious. What she couldn’t have predicted was her meeting Lynn Gill, the dietitian on campus. This woman would inspire Kendra not only to get her B.S. in Food and Nutrition, specializing in Dietetics, but also help Kendra make her own discoveries about nutrition. Flash forward to the present, Kendra is aiding in the effort to forge a new path to what it means to be healthy, and to push back the diet culture that has so many cycling through episodes of success, failure, and oftentimes, depression. She is a Certified Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian through the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals. She is one of only 200 hundred others internationally to achieve this certification which, in addition to standard coursework, also includes 2,500 completed hours in face-to-face work with those seeking help, and takes approximately 5-7 years to complete.
So this is it, the ringer, what we all showed up for. Why don’t diets work? Thankfully, Kendra has connected the dots for us.
First we must understand that Diet Culture is a sham. Kendra explained further that it’s a huge industry, and like all others, it’s meant to drive money. There’s a lot of information out there, one might say too much information. It’s overwhelming to sort through everything, and almost impossible to discern what’s best for you and your body. As a result, Kendra says, “It’s scientifically proven that diet’s don’t work.” They trap you in a cycle of losing weight, then reverting to old habits, which leads to self-disappointment.
The truth is, what we eat depends on a lot of factors, all of which are not necessarily physical but also include emotional and social as well. That’s how the media sucks us into their diet culture craze. By appealing to a combination of our physical, social, and emotional insecurities, they have convinced us to buy in to their mindset. So what happens? We see a perfume commercial of a gorgeous person living a life of luxury (presumably because they’re attractive and smell good?). We draw a comparison and develop a negative impression of our own body image. We decide to try the latest diet fad which gives us miserably achieved, temporary and shallow results. Yet, we feel proud, then we indulge in one measly chocolate donut and suddenly regain five pounds. Then comes the shame of failure and backtracking.
What we never realized before is that to diet, is to yo-yo. Diets last about 1-2 years and when they are over weight regains. And one major part it is that over time, this pattern of weight loss and regain will cause your body to eventually adjust to life at a heavier default. In translation, by constantly losing and regaining weight due to dieting, we actually train our bodies to be heavier. Again, GASP!!! Other than pure genetics, this is another reason why in today’s society we see larger bodies from all the yo-yoing effects of the popular diet trends of the past like the Low-fat diet, Atkins diet or weight watchers.
It should be noted, this constant onslaught of negative messages regarding body image, as well as the doomed process of dieting, are critical catalysts of eating disorders. In addition, we all have our own traumas regarding our image; Kendra was called Porky, Maggie’s mom gave her bowl-cut in 2nd grade and everyone at school said she looked like a boy. Experiences like this can often contribute even more to the development of an eating disorder in young people.
It was through this discussion that we learned how prevalent, and how dangerous, eating disorders truly are, and how casually a diet can spiral into something more ominous. When asked how many of the 50-70 people Kendra sees a week at Nutritious Thoughts suffer from an eating disorder, she shared a staggering number, “85%” WHAT THE HECK!? Remember, that’s just one office in Asheville. Clearly Kendra could see the disbelief written on our faces, because she went on to share that out of all mental disorders, including schizophrenia and depression, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate.
Now, we’re certainly not saying that because you decided to go on a diet as your new year resolution that you’re going to develop an eating disorder and eventually, die. No, the point is information, which is what we’re all sorely lacking. A lack of education led to Kendra’s struggles as an adolescent. And though the internet is at our fingertips, true education regarding nutrition is buried under the market that has been built by the diet culture.
So what is the right answer, here? If dieting is doomed, and a McDonald’s-based meal plan will make you unhealthy, then what are you supposed to do? Well, Kendra had the answers. Be Mindful. Be Patient. And most of all, be positive.
- Be Mindful. Listen to your body. If you’re eating a snack, but you’re body doesn’t feel hungry, then what are you accomplishing? Take a moment to acknowledge how certain meals make your body feel. Don’t eat that cookie unless you can enjoy it emotionally as well as physically.
- Be Patient. Growth and change take time, and the path to healthier, and therefore happier, life is a journey. There is no quick fix so set attainable goals for yourself, on your own timeline.
- Focus on forming new, healthier habits, not just on losing weight. Instead of simply denying yourself all the terrible things you love, shift your attention on what you need.
- Intake a variety of foods and keep it balanced, not too heavy in one area. Work on this over time by slowly, steadily incorporating more things into your meals.
- Make a schedule and stick to it. This part seems tedious but honestly, it takes so much pressure off of you. Jess in particular is very good at this. So good, in fact, if she’s even ten minutes late on schedule she turns into a hangry monster. (Kind of kidding)
- Get a proper balance of carbohydrates, proteins and fats; these are crucial elements of nutrition because these give us energy.
- Be active. Now that doesn’t say, hire a physical trainer and start competing in Spartan races. It means, establish what a joyful movement is for you, and do it. If you like running, go for it. Maybe you prefer to dance? By all means, shake that booty of yours! Whatever you do, just do something!
- Be Positive. Don’t be such a harsh critic of yourself. So what if you ate that extra large order of fries after going out drinking with your friends?! You had a good time, the fries were probably delicious (and helped with the alcohol), and you can just get back to your balanced meals right after. Just don’t make a habit of it and no harm done.
So there they are, the ingredients for your new life of healthy eating and living. But every great recipe has great instructions, and Kendra’s are no different. The first step, according to her, “Thank people for showing up.” Whoa. So if you’re delving in then the first thing you should do is acknowledge it, as a good thing. If you start with positive feelings regarding your decision, you’re more likely to keep it up. (Bit obvious).
The next step for Kendra is to get the story. In her own words, she considers this to be “the biggest challenge” of her job. Every person is different and has a story of how they got to where they are, some not so bad stories and some stories as she says are complete horror. It’s important to know people who suffer from this are not alone. The way people associate with food is specific to them, such a vital part of our lives can be so emotionally conflicted. So for Kendra, and the other counselors at Nutritious Thoughts, the biggest resource is one’s past and present. They go through a 9 page assessment that helps both the parties understand everything from family history and eating habits, to emotional traumas and weight-loss cycles. Once they’ve sorted through the past, then they can make goals and a plan to reassess values.
Then comes the Stages of Change:
This is helpful to anyone who is looking to make a change in their life. This chart shows how it is important to take baby steps to get to each part of the stages to have success. Most people come to her in pre-contemplation, meaning she has to work with them for awhile before any change happens. This is comforting to anyone looking to grow, meaning if you haven’t made any action yet that doesn’t mean you failed. That is actually why most people DO fail, thinking they are ready for action when they are only in the first stage.
- Pre-Contemplation – initial stage of considering that there might be a problem.
- Contemplation – decide to make a change
- Prepare – prepare your environment and mindset to take action
- Action – the steps you take to make a change and achieve results
- Maintenance – the process of continuing growth and avoiding regression
It should be noted that new year resolutions fall under action, but skips the first steps. If you haven’t taken the time to commit to growth and create a strategy to realize it, then how could you possibly be expected to succeed?
Kendra taught us a lot from just an hour talking with her. We have a new awareness we can live our lives with now. This information could pertain to you or to someone you know. Food is a lot more than just an ingredient to keep us alive. It is a picnic with a friend, served to us over a causal conversation on a first date or prepared for loved ones at your grandmothers 90th birthday. Developing a love affair with nourishment is something we may need some help on. Support each other and remember that larger bodies do not mean unhealthy. We are beautiful at all sizes as Kendra says “I think often times there is a big focus on just what the body looks like that defines health, we put more of a focus on health vs. how our bodies look”. Wow, are we glad to know this woman!
Want to know her too? Of course you do! Fortunately, she and the rest of the team at Nutritious Thoughts offer several opportunities for those looking to make a change to get their foot in the door. You can choose to seek individual assistance, or you can take part in one of their support groups. For example, they host a free, weekly support group for adults battling eating disorders. They also have a Mindful Eating series starting January 16th that will last for six weeks. Whatever you decide, you can rest easy knowing that you’re embarking on your life-changing journey in an environment that focuses on healing and empowerment.
So this year, hopefully you will join Jess and I on a new kind of healthy-eating adventure. Instead of punishing yourself with a diet in order to achieve someone else’s “ideal” body, choose a better way. Take baby steps, create habits that make you happy, listen to your body. Give this new movement in nutrition a chance, kick that diet to the curb, and you could start next year with a happier, healthier body and mind.